When your outgoing tweener turns inward

If your excitable kid has suddenly changed into a shy tween, do not freak out. This type of personality change is common for this age group and will usually pass. In the meantime, you can take steps to help your child find their voice and confidence again.

The toning down you now see is often self imposed, adopted as a protection against the hurtful tactics of classmates and your child’s own self-doubt. The tween years can be difficult as children begin to notice and judge themselves and others on matters such as school success, looks, possessions and athletic ability. Coping at the same time with changing expectations and uncertainties about friendship, some tweens follow the “safe” option and hold back, becoming more risk averse to try to avoid making a mistake that could lead to teasing.

The best way to help you tween return to full power is to rebuild their confidence and self belief. At home, encourage them to join in and express their views during family conversations. Listen respectfully so they can speak up confidently and comfortably.

3 Tips to help your child

  • Make New Friends. Try a club with kids from outside their school. They will be more likely to let loose around people they do not see every day, as there is less at stake if they make a mistake.
  • Boost Confidence. Praise your child for their good ideas and actions to help them feel good.
  • Personalize It. Share a story about a time you have felt shy and how you dealt with it.

Leave us your comments. Your feedback is greatly appreciated. Let us know what other topics you would like to have discussed. Share this post with your friends. Remember to always praise your child.


Shy Kid

  1. […] A Love Note. Give your caregiver a note to give your child at breakfast or record your voice reading a bedtime story. This allows […]

  2. Alecia says:

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