If you have had it up to here with your kids constant bickering, we can help you to reach a sibling cease fire.

First, there is the screaming fit over who gets to put the key in the front door lock. Then, there is the shoving over whose turn it is to sit on the window bench. Finally, there is the Disney dance party turned into WWE cage match, which ends with one of the kids shouting, “I didn’t do it!” and the other yelling, “He started it!” and me yelling, “Stop yelling!”

As the thoughts turn in my head, “I have lost control of the asylum.” The kids fight every single day: in the car, in the bathroom, in the grocery store. These 2 little boys who barely a year ago were so close, now feud like the Kardashians. Way too much of our family time is spent negotiating a truce. Yet nothing gets resolved. The next morning, the battle hymn begins and just like that they are off to the front line.

Of course, it is comforting to know we are not the only ones whose kids spar. Studies have found that kids 3-10 usually have arguments several times an hour. Whether you have girls, boys, or a mix does not matter. Most siblings squabble.

While it is true that disagreements can help brothers and sisters hone their social skills such as a negotiation and compromise, there is a downside. Frequently, intensive fighting heightens kids risk of depression and anxiety and can lower their self esteem. Battling siblings are more likely to engage in delinquent behaviors, including drug use as adults.

That puts a new perspective on our latest scuffle of the day (over who owns the Lego T-shirt). It does concern me: I can not deal with another 10 years of being a referee and I do not want them growing up to be bickering, sniping, it is not fair, I hate you siblings.

It is a real possibility, though. The way your kids interact early on tends to stay consistent as they get older. Work with your kids, especially from the ages of 4-8 and help them learn to resolve differences and manage their emotions. The good news is you can change the pattern of fighting among your kids. But you have to be willing to put in the work.

Our next several posts will give you tips on ways you can help manage their behaviors and help them grow and mature. Leave us your comments. Your feedback is greatly appreciated. Let us know what other topics you would like to have discussed. Share this post with your family and friends. Remember to always praise your child.



Can’t you just get along.

  1. Hi! Do you use Twitter? I’d like to follow you if that would be ok. I’m definitely enjoying your blog and look forward to new updates.

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