You will be much happier when the kids, their siblings feel like there is enough to go around: sufficient marshmallows and time and puzzle pieces and attention. When my children were tiny handfuls, the book Siblings Without Rivalry, made a huge impression on me. I did not have to grouse at Joe, “Can’t you see how busy I am?” because he wanted to play Sorry! and I was bathing his baby sister. I could just say instead, “I would love to, as soon as I am done here. Do you want to get her towel for me?” It is just a small recasting, right? But it is the one that seems to quiet that miserable sibling drumbeat of competition for resources. Likewise, I have a slightly quirky practice of gossiping to the kids about each other, but in positive ways. “Read Jenna’s school report with me,” I say to Joe. “They totally get her, you are going to love it.” I invite Jenna to join me in making a card to celebrate Joe’s successful making of the baseball team. “Could he be more awesome?” I say, and she responds, “Seriously.” It is not some big philosophy I started consciously, but I see what it does: It rewards the siblings with special attention for mutual appreciation. When you have these close relationships you feel secure. If my son sees me dancing with my daughter to ‘I Will Always Love You,’ he can laugh and enjoy it. He knows I love him just as much. Leave us your comments. Your feedback is greatly appreciated. Let us know what other topics you would like to have discussed. Share this post with your family and friends. Remember to always praise your child.




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