Archive for the ‘Bond’ Category

Talk to your child about what they can do if they have a friend who is the one freaking out because they made a bad throw in the baseball game or have forgotten the words to a project they were suppose to recite in front of the class. At times, kids huddle around the kid who is upset and that makes it even worse. Instead, let them know that it is fine and just act normally. Though they could also think of a small gesture that might make their friend happy. They might say something like, “I will save you a seat at lunch.” or “See you on the bus later today.” If a child knows that their friend does not see a mistake as a big deal, they are more likely to give themselves a break too. Have you seen this one on taking the fear out of failure? Leave us your comments. Your feedback is greatly appreciated. Let us know what other topics you would like to have discussed. Share this post with your family and friends. Remember to always praise your child.

ChildrensBooks2U

friendship

Your child may be fearful that you will not love them as much or be as proud of them if they mess up. Resist telling them the game or school play does not matter, which will invalidate their passions. Instead, you want to emphasize the message that you do not expect perfection, and while it does feel lousy to make a mistake, it is part of life and it will not affect how you feel about them. If they say that they do not want to be in that activity anymore because of a goof up, remind them of how much fun they had doing it and that they should hold on to those memories, rather than to dwell on one bad moment. Check out another post about learning from making mistakes. Leave us your comments. Your feedback is greatly appreciated. Let us know what other topics you would like to have discussed. Share this post with your family and friends. Remember to always praise your child.

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mistakes

Once your child’s initial hurt has subsided a bit, talk about how he got through it so he can cope with it a little better next time. You can ask, “Remember when you felt like this before? What did you do then?” You can also brainstorm together about different ways to avoid repeating the same mistake. This is what I did with my daughter, Jenna. She was in a school play and had forgotten a line. There was an uncomfortable silence and when Jenna had got backstage at the end of the show, she was so upset. Later, we came up with an idea that the audience probably would not even notice a missing line, so it is best to just keep going. She had put this strategy to the test a couple of months later. Jenna was performing in a different show and had some problems with her microphone, but instead of getting flustered, she covered it up beautifully. Making mistakes is part of growing up and how we handle them will help us grow. Leave us your comments. Your feedback is greatly appreciated. Let us know what other topics you would like to have discussed. Share this post with your family and friends. Remember to always praise your child.

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making-mistakes

Even with the rules of thumbs to follow from our previous posts, there are going to be instances when these approaches will not work. If your child considers these natural consequences to be not a big deal or if allowing them to experience these consequences will hurt someone else. Searching for a logical consequence when you are in a hurry to get somewhere usually will not work. Do not ever search too hard. If the consequence is not glaringly obvious then it is probably not the right strategy anyway. Problem solving, redirecting and family meetings are some good examples of strategies that may work when natural consequences will not. They are just one tool in your discipline toolbox. A hammer is essential to any builder, but he will need many other tools to build a house.

ChildrensBooks2U

Reconnecting

 

It is good to stay away from the ruts sometimes and look at things in a new refreshed light. Recently, we headed up to Wisconsin for a weekend stay at the Wisconsin Dells complete with lots of exciting things for the kids to do. As we walked around exploring new places, whether it is near or far away, it is a great way to see your family differently. You haven’t lived until you see your kid wipe out while playing and then laugh hysterically when you expect a full on tantrum.

I do not know a lot of things, but this I do know: If it were not for the bonds we formed when traveling away from home, interrupting our overly comfortable lives, I wouldn’t have these amazing kids who still tug at my arm at night, asking for another chapter of Harry Potter. (Yes they still do this.) With that I am off to snuggle and read. I hope you get to do the same. Leave us your comments. Your feedback is greatly appreciated. Let us know what other topics you would like to have discussed. Share this post with your friends. Remember to always praise your child.

ChildrensBooks2U

Reconnecting

 

 

With all different kinds of screens dominating the world these days there is a lot of competition to get your families attention at home. Use your position as the benevolent dictator to lead by setting an example. Demand that everyone put down the screens. I will be the first to admit that I am the biggest offender. Gather together and talk in the analog world, just like you would on a family vacation. On most days, I make it a point to look my kids straight in the eyes and ask how things are going. The look is extremely important. It lets everyone know that I mean my question. Then make sure you stick around for an answer. You can use this method on your spouse also. If you two are not running smoothly then the rest of the family does not either. See more posts about family. Leave us your comments. Your feedback is greatly appreciated. Let us know what other topics you would like to have discussed. Share this post with your friends. Remember to always praise your child.

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Facetime

You do not need to travel the world to teach your children about their ancestry. Tell them stories that perhaps you heard from your mother. Don’t have any, that’s OK. Google some recipes and create a new memory yourself. Or teach the kids a few words from the old language. My children walk a little taller knowing they can count to ten in Serbian. When we forget our roots, we forget what it means to be an American in the first place. My kids are a bit more resilient now that they better understand what our ancestors went through to get here. To see more about family visit Snuggle In.

Reconnecting