Archive for the ‘Childs Future’ Category

As the kids get older compared with those younger years, everyday life takes much less effort. My spouse and I are not as tired as we were then. The kids brush their teeth on their own, pour their own cereal, and buckle themselves in the car. They no longer topple over each other’s stuff for no apparent reason.

That is most of it, of course. But there are also some things we do deliberately, things that you can do too, to make harmony the household vibe. You can cultivate communication and compromise, flexibility and kindness, courtesy and the benefit of the doubt. Or, well, harmony. Each voice is different, and the individual notes might vary, but we are all singing the same song. We talk about achievement but not enough about the power of love, connection, and harmony.

Are there breakdowns along the way? Sure there are. The kids still make weird sounds specifically tailored to drive each other crazy. I am irritated when people leave their homework and art projects spread all over the dining room table. We fight boringly about household chores. But because we enjoy each other’s company, and because we enjoy enjoying it, if you follow, we try to solve our problems as quickly as possible so we can get back to it. These are some of the methods that have worked for us. Check out this wonderful children’s book on love and harmony, I Love You Through And Through. Leave us your comments. Your feedback is greatly appreciated. Let us know what other topics you would like to have discussed. Share this post with your family and friends. Remember to always praise your child.

ChildrensBooks2U

Harmony

“You are really growing up! From now on, I am going to let you be responsible for certain things.”

Jenna’s school bus comes at 6:50 A.M., which is just way too early for our family. I was always a bit thankful that my children didn’t rise with the sun, but the flip side is that getting Jenna motivated in the morning is a bit difficult. I am badgering her from the minute I wake her to the moment she is out the door: take a bath, to get dressed, eat, put on her shoes. Anything that she requests is met with a swift NO. I barely even have time to talk to her, as I am so busy just trying to get her ready and out the door.

However, children as young as 4 or 5 can learn to get up on their own and manage their morning routine, with a little pregame planning with your help. For example, setting an alarm clock with her, putting cups, bowls, and cereal in a low cabinet where she can reach them in the morning. Jenna is almost 10 now and I am still waking her. Right now the morning is my problem. I need to make it Jenna’s problem by turning over the responsibility .We don’t give out kids enough legitimate control over their own lives. Parents spend so much time ordering, correcting, and fixing that children do not feel in control. They need to feel empowered by making their own choices.

I suggested that we get Jenna a digital watch with a multiple alarm setting. An alarm clock or iPod can also do the job. Then we will let Jenna decide what time she wants to get up in the morning. She is to set 3 alarms: one to wake, one to be dressed and downstairs, and the final one to be out the door. When I presented our new routine to Jenna in a positive light, as a privilege she has earned. “You are old enough to get yourself up, dressed, and downstairs,” I told Jenna. “You have proven to me how responsible you can be, so we are going to get you your own special watch. Now, you are in charge of your morning.” Jenna lights up with pride and excitement. Over the weekend, together we buy the watch and write out her new schedule.

On Monday morning, to my astonishment, Jenna wakes up on her own, gets dressed herself, eats her breakfast, gets her things together, and is out the door, all on time. Because she is responsible for making it all happen, it does and we even have time to chat. The morning like the others that follow is peaceful, pleasant, and organized. It is amazing that such an easy fix created such a dramatic positive change. Now, instead of nudging Jenna through the morning routine, the alarm reminds her when to get ready, and she takes pride in feeling so capable. You can also use the alarm system for issues around bedtime, homework, making difficult transitions and more. Leave us your comments. Your feedback is greatly appreciated. Let us know what other topics you would like to have discussed. Share this post with your family and friends. Remember to always praise your child.

ChildrensBooks2U

morning-routine

So after careful consideration and realizing that I do have good, generally well-behaved children. I am not struggling with any major issues with my kids, just normal everyday stuff. Still, I must confess that sometimes I can not handle all of their requests, and saying “no” works. Simply saying no or barking orders about what kids should be doing can be expedient in the moment. However, it does not foster their sense of capability or independence and can make the situation ripe for power struggles. If I want to achieve the goal of being more positive, I would have to give more power and responsibility over to my kids. Positive discipline does not mean that kids always get their way or that you say yes to everything. It means giving kids opportunities to have some age appropriate control over their own world, within the firm and loving boundaries you feel comfortable with. Sounds like a good plan, right? In our upcoming posts, we will give you 3 strategies to use when you struggle with no the most. Leave us your comments. Your feedback is greatly appreciated. Let us know what other topics you would like to have discussed. Share this post with your family and friends. Remember to always praise your child.

ChildrensBooks2U

  • Embrace playdates. Invite friends or relatives with kids to join you on outings and vacations. If he is around kids, there are sure to be some conflicts. That is a good thing since your child will learn to resolve them.
  • Be a little childish. If there is only one piece of pie left, split it instead of letting him have the whole thing to demonstrate sharing. Do not let him win every round of Candy Land or always decide what to watch on TV. Re-create some situations that he will encounter with peers.
  • Work it out in front of your kid. Seeing you and your spouse resolve your disagreements shows him that they are a fact of life and it is not the end of the world. Plus, he will learn some negotiation strategies just by watching you.

Leave us your comments. Your feedback is greatly appreciated. Let us know what other topics you would like to have discussed. Share this post with your family and friends. Remember to always praise your child.

ChildrensBooks2U

only-child

If you have had it up to here with your kids constant bickering, we can help you to reach a sibling cease fire.

First, there is the screaming fit over who gets to put the key in the front door lock. Then, there is the shoving over whose turn it is to sit on the window bench. Finally, there is the Disney dance party turned into WWE cage match, which ends with one of the kids shouting, “I didn’t do it!” and the other yelling, “He started it!” and me yelling, “Stop yelling!”

As the thoughts turn in my head, “I have lost control of the asylum.” The kids fight every single day: in the car, in the bathroom, in the grocery store. These 2 little boys who barely a year ago were so close, now feud like the Kardashians. Way too much of our family time is spent negotiating a truce. Yet nothing gets resolved. The next morning, the battle hymn begins and just like that they are off to the front line.

Of course, it is comforting to know we are not the only ones whose kids spar. Studies have found that kids 3-10 usually have arguments several times an hour. Whether you have girls, boys, or a mix does not matter. Most siblings squabble.

While it is true that disagreements can help brothers and sisters hone their social skills such as a negotiation and compromise, there is a downside. Frequently, intensive fighting heightens kids risk of depression and anxiety and can lower their self esteem. Battling siblings are more likely to engage in delinquent behaviors, including drug use as adults.

That puts a new perspective on our latest scuffle of the day (over who owns the Lego T-shirt). It does concern me: I can not deal with another 10 years of being a referee and I do not want them growing up to be bickering, sniping, it is not fair, I hate you siblings.

It is a real possibility, though. The way your kids interact early on tends to stay consistent as they get older. Work with your kids, especially from the ages of 4-8 and help them learn to resolve differences and manage their emotions. The good news is you can change the pattern of fighting among your kids. But you have to be willing to put in the work.

Our next several posts will give you tips on ways you can help manage their behaviors and help them grow and mature. Leave us your comments. Your feedback is greatly appreciated. Let us know what other topics you would like to have discussed. Share this post with your family and friends. Remember to always praise your child.

ChildrensBooks2U

bickering

Can’t you just get along.

Here is the quiz, just as promised:

1. Attitude
My kid…
a. dislikes getting ready and going to school
b. suddenly likes school less than he used to
c. has always enjoyed going to school

2. Temperament
I would describe my kid as…
a. extremely talkative
b. introverted
c. easily distracted

3. Assignments
My child tends to…
a. ask for help
b. claim she has no homework (then I later find out she does)
c. complete assignments quickly and easily

4. Abilities
When it comes to getting his schoolwork done, he…
a. procrastinates until I take something away (like an iPad)
b. completes assignments independently
c. sometimes has trouble with subjects taught in class

5. Behavior
Lately I have noticed that my child…
a. seems less focused
b. is not interested in educational toys or games
c. finds school more enjoyable than previously

Answer Key:
1. b 2. c 3. b 4. a 5. a

If you matched four or more answers it is worth exploring the possibility of a tutor.
If you matched three answers your child could use extra help from a teacher, a tutor or you.
If you matched two or fewer answers your kid probably does not need a tutor.

ChildrensBooks2U

tutoring

Private tutoring is turning into a big trend or as your child’s English teacher might say, “Enormous.” It is over a $5 billion per year operation and is becoming more popular at even younger ages. Many of the larger tutoring companies now offer even Pre-K programs. Some parents want to give their children an early edge.

A typical 4-year-old starting at this early of an age would get an hour’s worth of tutoring five days a week to develop reading skills and basic memory training. The earlier a kid starts learning, the better chance they have of getting into the best schools.

Certainly, that is not at all typical for most families. There is little evidence that a pumped up Pre-K learning is a pipeline to a primo college. However, it has been found that kids who entered kindergarten with solid elementary reading and math skills are most likely to excel in school later on.

At this age, tutoring is about building skills and confidence rather than addressing any deficiencies. It might involve teaching basic skills such as problem solving, numbers, new words and science. Children with even a small foundation of knowledge experience a significant academic advantage relative to their classmates. The tutoring sessions also provide a set time to sit and focus. This is a valuable practice in an age when technology pulls kids’ attention in every direction.

If your kid is on par with his peers, your child’s preschool teacher can help assess this, there is no need to hire a tutor. But if they are struggling a bit, should you consider the extra help? To find out, our next post will include a quiz for you to find out.

ChildrensBooks2U

tutoring