Archive for the ‘Discipline’ Category

I am sure that you have already discussed the topic before, but now is a good time for a bit of a refresher course. Rather than bringing up stealing randomly and making your child think that they are in trouble, get the conversation started by reading a children’s book together like Ricky Sticky Fingers, by Julia Cook, or watching a movie together like Despicable Me. Then ask your child what they think about the behavior of the characters. Remind them what stealing is, Stealing is taking something that belongs to someone else without asking permission. And also let them know why it is wrong. Stealing makes the other person feel sad. It may help if you give a specific example of stealing. Tell them that taking a toy car from the store without paying for it is stealing. Then see if your child can determine if certain scenarios, like putting the teacher’s pen in their backpack, borrowing a book from the library, or taking papers from Dad’s briefcase are considered stealing as well. Leave us your comments. Your feedback is greatly appreciated. Let us know what other topics you would like to have discussed. Share this post with your family and friends. Remember to always praise your child.

ChildrensBooks2U

Stealing

Kids have a ton of a lot more stamina than you do. So your child will question, debate, argue, and oppose as long as you let them. (Bedtime battles, anyone?) Every time that you engage in this kind of back and forth exchange, you give them the opportunity to get stronger and better at it. Instead of giving repeated warnings and reminders, give one (“You have ten more minutes to play, then it is time to go to bed”) and ignore any arguments after that. If all else fails, pull out this classic on: Because I am the boss and I said so. You can also check out our post on bad habits. Leave us your comments. Your feedback is greatly appreciated. Let us know what other topics you would like to have discussed. Share this post with your family and friends. Remember to always praise your child.

ChildrensBooks2U

drama

Once your child’s initial hurt has subsided a bit, talk about how he got through it so he can cope with it a little better next time. You can ask, “Remember when you felt like this before? What did you do then?” You can also brainstorm together about different ways to avoid repeating the same mistake. This is what I did with my daughter, Jenna. She was in a school play and had forgotten a line. There was an uncomfortable silence and when Jenna had got backstage at the end of the show, she was so upset. Later, we came up with an idea that the audience probably would not even notice a missing line, so it is best to just keep going. She had put this strategy to the test a couple of months later. Jenna was performing in a different show and had some problems with her microphone, but instead of getting flustered, she covered it up beautifully. Making mistakes is part of growing up and how we handle them will help us grow. Leave us your comments. Your feedback is greatly appreciated. Let us know what other topics you would like to have discussed. Share this post with your family and friends. Remember to always praise your child.

ChildrensBooks2U

making-mistakes

If you are constantly praising your child’s performance (“You really crushed that ball!”) rather than his effort (“I am impressed by how much you have practiced for your baseball games.”), mistakes will become harder for him to swallow. In a study at Stanford University a landmark research was conducted on kids’ resilience and persistence. One study was a test given to fifth graders that was designed for eighth graders. One of the groups was praised for their effort, while the other group was told how intelligent they are. The kids who got praised for their intelligence were upset about how hard the test was while the group given kudos for their efforts coped and performed better. They had realized how hard they worked mattered and not just focused on the end result. See our other posts on Making Mistakes. Leave us your comments. Your feedback is greatly appreciated. Let us know what other topics you would like to have discussed. Share this post with your family and friends. Remember to always praise your child.

ChildrensBooks2U

Gifted

 

Let your child learn their lessons from natural consequences of their own actions. You can prevent many power struggles without being the bad guy.

When I was a child the word “discipline” meant that I was getting one of my favorite things taken away by my parents for misbehaving. If I hit my brother, NO TV for a week. If I did not do my chores, NO trip to the mall. Not only was this the method in my house, but in the home of everyone else I knew. This classic approach of discipline can make kids cooperate in the short term, it is not the best way to teach life long lessons. Kids do not learn when they are feeling threatened. Your child may go along with your demands because they are afraid of what will happen if they do not, rather than because they have grasped anything about right and wrong.

Let your kids experience the natural consequences of their actions. If your child does not wear a jacket, let them be cold. The next time you probably will not have to fight over it. Logical consequences entail more adult involvement, but they are also connected to the misbehavior. If your child runs out in the middle of the street, then they must hold your hand for the rest of the walk. It is this connection that helps a child understand and learn from their actions.

Sounds real easy, right? Not so fast. I thought so too. That is until my kids did something that did not seem to have natural consequences. What is the outcome of having to nag your child 30 times in order for them to do their chores? Or the refusal to wear nothing but a birthday suit to daycare on a hot day? They can not do the trick every time, but they do work in more situations than you realize. In our next post we will cover tips for getting better behavior now and in the future. Leave us your comments. Your feedback is greatly appreciated. Let us know what other topics you would like to have discussed. Share this post with your family and friends. Remember to always praise your child.

ChildrensBooks2U

discipline