Archive for the ‘Mistakes’ Category

Even good kids might be tempted to steal something that they really want.

When I took my 7-year-old nephew to the store and later learned that he had picked up a cookie and hid it in his pocket, I worried how he had learned this behavior and if it had become a habit. Much to my relief, I learned that petty thievery is normal for kids his age. By kindergarten, most children know it is not appropriate to take things that do not belong to them. However, they still have poor impulse control. Their desire to have something that they really want may be stronger than the little voice in their head telling them that stealing is not the right thing to do. And now that they are surrounded by a classroom full of their peers and seeing what everyone owns, the temptation to make a five-finger discount is even greater. In our upcoming posts, we will give you some strategies to help prevent and deal with stealing. Leave us your comments. Your feedback is greatly appreciated. Let us know what other topics you would like to have discussed. Share this post with your family and friends. Remember to always praise your child.

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Sticky Fingers

When your child refuses to wear a hat or mittens outside on a cold and windy day, then complains that they are cold, you can simply point out how those items would of helped (then produce the ones that you secretly stashed in your bag). If they refuse cold weather protection again, you can gently remind them of what happened last time. Check out our show and don’t tell post. Leave us your comments. Your feedback is greatly appreciated. Let us know what other topics you would like to have discussed. Share this post with your family and friends. Remember to always praise your child.

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  • Embrace playdates. Invite friends or relatives with kids to join you on outings and vacations. If he is around kids, there are sure to be some conflicts. That is a good thing since your child will learn to resolve them.
  • Be a little childish. If there is only one piece of pie left, split it instead of letting him have the whole thing to demonstrate sharing. Do not let him win every round of Candy Land or always decide what to watch on TV. Re-create some situations that he will encounter with peers.
  • Work it out in front of your kid. Seeing you and your spouse resolve your disagreements shows him that they are a fact of life and it is not the end of the world. Plus, he will learn some negotiation strategies just by watching you.

Leave us your comments. Your feedback is greatly appreciated. Let us know what other topics you would like to have discussed. Share this post with your family and friends. Remember to always praise your child.

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only-child

If you have had it up to here with your kids constant bickering, we can help you to reach a sibling cease fire.

First, there is the screaming fit over who gets to put the key in the front door lock. Then, there is the shoving over whose turn it is to sit on the window bench. Finally, there is the Disney dance party turned into WWE cage match, which ends with one of the kids shouting, “I didn’t do it!” and the other yelling, “He started it!” and me yelling, “Stop yelling!”

As the thoughts turn in my head, “I have lost control of the asylum.” The kids fight every single day: in the car, in the bathroom, in the grocery store. These 2 little boys who barely a year ago were so close, now feud like the Kardashians. Way too much of our family time is spent negotiating a truce. Yet nothing gets resolved. The next morning, the battle hymn begins and just like that they are off to the front line.

Of course, it is comforting to know we are not the only ones whose kids spar. Studies have found that kids 3-10 usually have arguments several times an hour. Whether you have girls, boys, or a mix does not matter. Most siblings squabble.

While it is true that disagreements can help brothers and sisters hone their social skills such as a negotiation and compromise, there is a downside. Frequently, intensive fighting heightens kids risk of depression and anxiety and can lower their self esteem. Battling siblings are more likely to engage in delinquent behaviors, including drug use as adults.

That puts a new perspective on our latest scuffle of the day (over who owns the Lego T-shirt). It does concern me: I can not deal with another 10 years of being a referee and I do not want them growing up to be bickering, sniping, it is not fair, I hate you siblings.

It is a real possibility, though. The way your kids interact early on tends to stay consistent as they get older. Work with your kids, especially from the ages of 4-8 and help them learn to resolve differences and manage their emotions. The good news is you can change the pattern of fighting among your kids. But you have to be willing to put in the work.

Our next several posts will give you tips on ways you can help manage their behaviors and help them grow and mature. Leave us your comments. Your feedback is greatly appreciated. Let us know what other topics you would like to have discussed. Share this post with your family and friends. Remember to always praise your child.

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bickering

Can’t you just get along.

Talk to your child about what they can do if they have a friend who is the one freaking out because they made a bad throw in the baseball game or have forgotten the words to a project they were suppose to recite in front of the class. At times, kids huddle around the kid who is upset and that makes it even worse. Instead, let them know that it is fine and just act normally. Though they could also think of a small gesture that might make their friend happy. They might say something like, “I will save you a seat at lunch.” or “See you on the bus later today.” If a child knows that their friend does not see a mistake as a big deal, they are more likely to give themselves a break too. Have you seen this one on taking the fear out of failure? Leave us your comments. Your feedback is greatly appreciated. Let us know what other topics you would like to have discussed. Share this post with your family and friends. Remember to always praise your child.

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friendship

Your child may be fearful that you will not love them as much or be as proud of them if they mess up. Resist telling them the game or school play does not matter, which will invalidate their passions. Instead, you want to emphasize the message that you do not expect perfection, and while it does feel lousy to make a mistake, it is part of life and it will not affect how you feel about them. If they say that they do not want to be in that activity anymore because of a goof up, remind them of how much fun they had doing it and that they should hold on to those memories, rather than to dwell on one bad moment. Check out another post about learning from making mistakes. Leave us your comments. Your feedback is greatly appreciated. Let us know what other topics you would like to have discussed. Share this post with your family and friends. Remember to always praise your child.

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mistakes

Once your child’s initial hurt has subsided a bit, talk about how he got through it so he can cope with it a little better next time. You can ask, “Remember when you felt like this before? What did you do then?” You can also brainstorm together about different ways to avoid repeating the same mistake. This is what I did with my daughter, Jenna. She was in a school play and had forgotten a line. There was an uncomfortable silence and when Jenna had got backstage at the end of the show, she was so upset. Later, we came up with an idea that the audience probably would not even notice a missing line, so it is best to just keep going. She had put this strategy to the test a couple of months later. Jenna was performing in a different show and had some problems with her microphone, but instead of getting flustered, she covered it up beautifully. Making mistakes is part of growing up and how we handle them will help us grow. Leave us your comments. Your feedback is greatly appreciated. Let us know what other topics you would like to have discussed. Share this post with your family and friends. Remember to always praise your child.

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